Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Ingredients of a Monogamous Relationship Require...

The Lotus
by Andy Neuwirth

The Ingredients of a Monogamous Relationship require, among other things:

 1. Respect between the partners

 2. Each person cherishes the other

 3. Each person likes the other

 4. Each finds pleasure and comfort in the other’s company

 5. Emotional support of each other

 6. Mutually satisfying physical intimacy

 7. Expression of appreciation between the partners

 8. The creation of fond memories

 9. A feeling of safety, friendship, and trust

10. A feeling that the spouse is central to his or her world

11. An admiration of positive qualities such as honesty, generosity, decency, loyalty, and fairness

12. A strong sense of morality

13. The conviction that each person is worthy of being loved

14. A sense of reality, in that there are some problems but that they are surmountable

15. A view that each partner is special in some important regard

16. A sense that the relationship enhances each partner

17. The sense that there’s a unique fit between each partner’s needs and the partner’s willingness and ability to meet those needs

18. The sense that each partner is lucky to have the other

19. An equitable division of household tasks including the rearing of a child or children

20. A sense that the success of the partnership is attributable to both partners

21. An ability to express both positive and negative emotions

22. A shared view that the partnership takes constant attention and work

The list is extensive; however it’s important to note that such relationships don’t happen by accident. It takes years of dedicated
work to bring this kind of relationship into existence. The good news is that it’s certainly possible; in fact, millions of couples have just this kind of relationship. It does, though, take a major commitment on both parts to continually work on the partnership.

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