When It Comes To Being Over 50:
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run....anywhere.
People call at 9:00 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
"Things you buy now will, likely, not wear out before you die."
"You can eat dinner at 4:00pm and no one will consider it strange."
"You can live without sex but not your glasses."
"You get into heated arguments about pension plans."
"Speed limits no longer pose a challenge."
"You drive slower than everyone in the right hand lane
because you can't see and you forgot what the speed limit was years ago."
"You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room."
"You sing along with elevator music."
"Your eyes won't get much worse."
You have already had cataract surgery on both eyes."
"Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to payoff."
"Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service."
"Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either."
"Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size."
"You can't remember who sent you this list and truly don't really care."